A true belief never hurts.
A false belief hurts.
This is powerful stuff.
“I need to be home when my kids get home from school.”
I don’t know why I am hanging on to this one so hard, but that is a false belief. It hurts when I think I am not being the kind of parent I want to be.
It leads into a litany of false beliefs I have about parenting…
A good parent makes healthy lunches.
A good parent keeps them on track, doing their best.
A good parent spends quality time with her kids.
A true belief for me, is,
“I am doing my best as a parent for me and my children.”
Or even simpler, “I am trying.”
When I don’t make the best choice or best decision, it stings in the moment, but it doesn’t really hurt down deep. I am making mistakes from a place of love and trying. Those thoughts/mistakes sting so that I notice and make course corrections, but they don’t cut deep.
False beliefs come from other people and society. False beliefs come from “Everybody”. Like, “Everybody is sending their kids to summer camp.”
I’m feeling the guilt.
Guilt is a great indicator of a false belief.
True beliefs never hurt, they are just informational. False beliefs hurt, and bring that belief to the surface to be swept away.
If you believe you deserve abuse, it stays with you because you believe it.
If someone attacks you and you don’t believe it, it just goes past you. It smarts a little, but it won’t hurt you.
For example, if someone says, “You are the worst cousin anyone has ever had!” it wouldn’t bother me at all; in fact I would be confused. I have no cousins. It might smart because they are yelling at me and hurling insults, but it wouldn’t really hurt.
Something that is not true, will not hurt.
Once again, your body is a great compass for discerning false beliefs.
If it hurts… if it causes pain… examine that belief.
And if you find it to be false, replace it with a true one.