Keeping Up With The Joneses

My Dad, the banker, used to point out houses to me in the neighborhood.  
They were huge mansions.  
And my mother would chime in, “Those people can’t afford that house.  They are in foreclosure.”

No one else knew they were in debt up to their eyeballs. But my parents who, bless their hearts, were terrified that they would lose everything, knew because of his job. 
And they wanted to save my sister and me from that fate.

They wanted to instill the fear in us so we wouldn’t make a big mistake and overextend ourselves.

That was just one of the money stories I was taught growing up. You can never tell how much money someone has by what they have or flaunt.

There are a lot of people living a façade.  They can’t really afford the house they live in.  And when they lose it they will be in worse condition than if they hadn’t pretended… if they hadn’t been hiding from their money truth.

Most people are trying to keep up with the Joneses.

They think that to be as good as other people, they need to have the same things and do the same things.

It’s a form of people pleasing.

“Other people will like me better if I have a new car.”
“Other people will think I am the bomb if I have the latest fashions.”
“Other people will judge me if I don’t take a trip over Spring Break.”

But what’s REALLY going on underneath all of those thoughts is that YOU are the one who is judging yourself.

You are thinking, “I won’t be as good if I don’t have a new car.” “I won’t be as good if I wear an old dress.” “I won’t be as good if I don’t travel.”

It’s never really about them. It’s about what you think about you.

Something happened to me the last time I went to my college reunion.  It was definitely meant as a compliment.  But a good friend said to me, “I am so impressed that you are here without wearing any makeup.  You are so natural.”

And yet, I was wearing the makeup I wear every day… tinted moisturizer, mascara, eye shadow, eyeliner and blush.  For me, I had my full face on, but I thought it was interesting that she had projected confidence on me.

In actuality she was thinking about herself.
She was thinking that she didn’t have the hutzpah to go without foundation.

It really wasn’t about me at all.

You never really know what the other person is thinking.
They might be admiring you for your simplicity.

So if you are trying to keep up with the Joneses, you are only trying to impress someone whose thoughts you are imagining.

Because you have no idea what their thoughts really are.

Even if they tell you.

Or you may be trying to make yourself feel better about yourself.

And one thing I can tell you for sure is that things don’t ever make you feel better.
It’s an inside job.
That’s the work to be done.

Buy things that make you feel abundant.
And don’t buy things that make you feel like money is scarce.
Even if everyone else has it.