What Makes You Feel Secure?

I so wish I could tell you exactly what to do to fix your money life.
Well, I could give you some pretty good guidelines.

But each person has their own wants, desires and values.
And in my case, a spouse who is not a saver.

He is a good earner, but he sees no reason to save.
And that is fine, because I am a saver.

So we’re a team.

Do I want to change him?
Absolutely.

But I have tried everything I know, and that has not changed him.

He’s a human.
He gets to have his own thoughts, feelings and actions.

(Damn.)

So, it’s time for me to get a new car.

The old one needs a new steering something or other, and it’s so expensive it would cost more than the car is worth.

He wants to buy me a brand new BMW.
Payments are only $500 a month.

Well, I suggested we save up and buy it with cash.
I have always bought my cars with cash.

I don’t like paying interest on a car that is losing value every day, whether I drive it or not.
That’s not just BMWs, that’s all cars.
And I love him for wanting it for me.

For some people driving a brand new car makes them feel secure.

For me it’s having money in the bank available for things like trips or emergencies.

We are two different people with different desires.
We have different ways of getting to the same place.
And different things make us feel secure.
And that’s OK.

Neither of us is right or wrong.

I could choose to feel insecure because he won’t save.
But that wouldn’t serve me.
Or him.

We have this beautiful dance we do with money and values and loving each other and honoring each other’s feelings.

The security is in the communication and owning who we are.

The security is in the dance and knowing that we have each other’s back.