I’m Not in the Holiday Spirit.

Usually this time of year I would write this blog post offering you holiday gift ideas that aren’t “stuff”.
Give the gift of experiences.
Make it about the meaning, not the money.
Let the clutter go.
Yada, yada, yada.

So I started my list.

And then I stopped.

​​​​​​​Because my usual gift buying enthusiasm is on vacation this year.
This year all of the rules have gone out the window.
Up is down.

I just don’t feel dialed in.
Gifts… no gifts… whatever.

This year I am looking for a way to connect with people.
I feel a bit disconnected.

I am looking for a way to pick myself up and slog through another day in spite of the days looking shockingly alike.
Day after day.
Week after week.

I want an emotional defibrillation.

I’m not in the holiday spirit.
And that’s okay.

Because getting through a difficult time doesn’t always look pretty.

I’m not depressed.
But I’m not clicking my heels either.

A part of me feels like it would be ridiculous to put on my Pollyanna face, smile, deck the halls and ignore all of the death and isolation and financial downslide.

And yes, I know that this is just a part of the cycle.
Life has seasons.
And this is winter.
Both literally and figuratively.

So I’m not feeling jolly.

Hey – I have no problem if you are enjoying the heck out of Christmas.
But I’m in neutral.
And that feels right for me right now.
That feels natural right now.
Neutral with glimpses of happy.

And if you want an idea about what to give for Christmas, buy your loved ones a subscription to Hulu. Or a psychic reading. Or give them a Zoom lesson on baking bread.
Go connect and spread your dazzling self around. You are a beacon.​​​​​​​
Visions of sugar plums and all that.

But if what you need is to lay down and watch an episode of the Queen’s Gambit instead of adding one more item to your Amazon cart, then do it.

It’s a down cycle.
It’s the yang to the yin.

And that’s okay.