I used to be a boundary setting extremist

Growing up, I was extreme in setting boundaries.

I thought that if someone was mean or rude or thoughtless to me, they didn’t deserve to be my friend.

If you laugh at me, you are history.

I wasn’t going to allow that to happen to me again.

I didn’t have a lot of friends. 

Somewhere along the way to adulthood (probably well into adulthood), I changed my mind.

I taught my children that if someone is thoughtless, mean, or rude, don’t throw them out with the bathwater. If you let people in close… if you let them see you as you really are… mistakes are going to be made.

Allow them to be human.

IF it doesn’t become a habit and they are not physically hurting you.

Don’t be a doormat. But don’t expect perfection.

Look at the tv show, Friends.

The friends lied to each other, cheated on each other, took each other’s apartments, insulted each other… I could give you 10 years’ worth of examples.

But there was an undercurrent of mutual love.

Keep in mind that people who love you can mistreat you and cross your boundary. 

Love isn’t always enough.

The trick is to know where to draw the line in the sand.

Where is your line?

What will you allow?
With friends? partners? children? bosses?

Do you stay too long or burn bridges too fast?

What relationships do you have that need a little boundary attention?