Playing with horses and setting boundaries

Just got back from my four-day on-site Equus coach training where I practiced coaching people using horses to help people with their struggles and challenges.

Horses are my partners in coaching.
It’s magical and we go deep fast.

So, here’s the most recent thing I have learned. 
(There is always an aha or two.)

Boundary setting doesn’t have to be a big thing.

It can be a small correction.

You don’t always have to have the big talk.
Sometimes it’s just how you hold yourself.
Or look someone in the eye.

Boundary setting never has to feel confrontational.

And sometimes the boundary is for the other person as much as for yourself.

One of the things we do in training is go catch a horse in a field.

There is horse language we learn, which is essentially body language that horses understand.

At times when I go to catch a horse, the young or dominant horses will get in close to me and try to nibble parts of my body or the harness.

It feels delicious.
It feels like love.
But the nibbles can lead to a bite.
And chewing the harness can lead to swallowing it.

So, I learned to hold my space and not let the horse come in right on top of me.

I also learned to not look the horse in the eye because that would be considered a reason to move away from me.

I want that sweet spot.

Still delicious.
Where I can harness the horse without letting it in too close, but also not drive it away.

I think there is a sweet spot in most of our relationships.

Setting a boundary that keeps both of you safe and authentic can feel amazing and empowering.

Healthy relationships can go the distance.

Watch yourself today and notice how you use your body to set boundaries with people.

What sort of boundaries are you setting with people in your life?