3 Questions to ask when your panties are in a wad
So, you are in a difficult situation.
Emotions are off the charts.
Something is wrong and someone else has done something incredibly stupid.
You are about to explode or implode.
To talk yourself down off the proverbial ledge, try asking yourself these three questions:
#1 – “What do I want to believe and feel about this situation?”
Peel back the layers.
Instead of a knee-jerk reaction which is normal for humans, take a step back and decide what you WANT to believe and feel.
If your coworker has blamed their mistakes on you, you are perfectly justified in thinking they are a lowlife and being angry with them. You might even yell at them.
But how do you WANT to feel?
You probably don’t enjoy feeling angry.
Do you want to believe that the world is going down the tubes or that somewhere in this situation is an opportunity for growth?
Maybe you want to believe that there are now grounds for firing your coworker. (Which could spark some satisfaction on your part.)
Maybe you want to believe that your coworker needs compassion since they are playing the sad blame game. (Which means you feel compassion.)
Let how you want to feel drive your choices.
Which brings me to the second question…
#2 – “What thought serves me?”
I love this thought.
It doesn’t matter if you are justified in thinking something.
The litmus test: Does the negative thought bring you down or lift you up?
I’m not suggesting you wear rose colored glasses.
I am suggesting you figure out what you want… what you truly want… and make choices that help you be that version of yourself.
Which brings me to the third question…
#3 – “Who do I want to be?”
Do you want to be the person who is focused on grudges or sees the bigger picture?
Do you want to be someone who lets the actions of other people determine how the day is going to go?
Are you going for sage and wise or brilliant and powerful?
Or passive and quiet quitting?
There are no wrong answers.
There are only answers that serve you and answers that don’t.