My death coach had a death in her family.

Yes, I have a death coach.

Not to deal with the feelings of death (although that is awesome) but she helps me know the social etiquette around death and funerals.

I used to think things were done differently in the South (like always bring food) but over time I’ve come to realize that it was just that my Mom avoided having funerals or letting me go to funerals or talk about funerals.*

I didn’t know the customs.

But now I do.

I will call my death coach on the phone and say, “Neighbor, never met him, saw his wife once a year at Halloween… go!” And she would spit out, “Chicken pot pie, funeral service optional.”

She is never wrong.

But now it’s her mother who died.
So, I have no reference.

I called her and said, “I need to know what to do for you since you are my death coach.” She said, “Nothing, since we aren’t having the service until next month.”

But I have learned from the master. So, I brought her a chicken pot pie… her mother’s recipe. And for the service/celebration of life I will take a professional photo of the extended family.

I also learned another lesson from her dear old friend who is staying with me while in town for the service. She told me that whenever you are invited to a wedding or hear about a funeral, go.
They are one of life’s milestones.

Give support just by being.

I like that.
I can do that.

When I know better I do better.

Wishing you all the kind of coach you need.

*I will mention that Mom has never had a problem talking about her own funeral. If she really liked someone she would invite them to perform… perhaps to sing a song or do something funny.
Maybe she just needed her own death etiquette coach.