Alzheimer’s can seem like a very sad disease. My Dad and Grandmother had it for the same eight years.
As I visited them, I could see their brains losing their connections. Their brains were unlearning things in the reverse order they learned them. It was like the clock was moving their brains backwards, but no one had notified their bodies.
I remember the day I visited Grandma and offered to read from the latest large print Reader’s Digest to her. She cheerily said I was welcome to read, but that she would forget what was at the top of the page by the time I reached the bottom.
Visits.
What to talk about?
Hmm.
I couldn’t discuss things that happened in the past due to memory loss. I couldn’t talk about the future because they couldn’t imagine that. It brought me down to just… now.
Dad and Grandma were my teachers on how to be present.
I can’t say I was a very good student. There was a lot of wondering what to say. I struggled with what to do while I was with them
And the inevitable question…. would I want to live in that condition if it were me.
And then one visit it occurred to me. When someone sits with a dog, and just enjoys him, and that dog leans it’s head into your hand and just wants to be with you, then just be still. And enjoy. That’s a special moment. You might even get a little panting and smiling and stretching in the sun. That’s when life is good. Just being together sharing that wordlessness. That’s way more than enough. That’s the good stuff. The deep stuff. The stuff that gives the foundation of meaning to our lives.
No one would ever question if a dog should still be around just because he couldn’t remember fetching a stick with you when he was a puppy.
I grieved the person I lost while Dad was still alive, but that doesn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy who he had become.
I just didn’t necessarily enjoy him in the same way.
Here’s what worked for me:
Treat them like a dog… in the best possible sense. Be with them in the way that words and history don’t demand of man’s best friend. Be OK with being still within yourself, enjoy it, and you will find a powerful connection. One that transcends all the words and history that sometimes gets in the way of pure joy.
Dad was my first mindfulness teacher.
Still practicing, Dad, but I’m getting there.
You can write about who you are and what you do.
I am a life coach.
I help people be less “in their heads”.
I help people be more joyful.
I help people be more confident at facing their truth.
I help people embrace their divine discomfort.
I help people experience staying in the moment.
I help people feel connected.
I help people free themselves from their same old stories.
I help people have less frustration.
I help people have more of what they want.
I help people learn how to stay in their own business.
I help people learn how to show who they really are.
I help people unlearn how to push through to make things happen.
I help people reframe the way they talk to themselves.
I help people simplify the way they do everything.
I help people start doing nothing.
I help people stop doing nothing.
I take action towards relieving the world’s pain.
I understand that each person has their own answers.
I help people find the greatness inside them.
So then I followed the rules, and stuck to four sentences this is what it boiled down to:
“I am Ellen Yale.
I am a life coach.
I help people become more amazing at being themselves.
Because if you can figure out how to think, you can change the direction of your entire life.”That is what I do.
… be less ________________
… be more ________________
… become amazing at ________________
… become more confident at ________________
… experience ________________
… feel ________________
… have less ________________
… have more ________________
… learn how to ________________
… (un)learn how to ________________
… reframe the way they ________________
… simplify the way they ________________
… start doing ________________
… stop doing ________________
… take action towards ________________
… understand ________________
(Because ________________.)
I follow the wonderful writer, Alexandra Franzen. Not only does she write with heart, but also she helps others write with their own voice. And she makes business writing seem like a gift rather than snarky.
So I decided to use the writing prompts she offered to craft a four sentence “elevator speech” to use when someone asks me what I do.
I thought you might have fun playing on the home version.
You can write about who you are and what you do.
You will notice below that it is more than four sentences. What can I say? When she delivered a prompt, I just relaxed and put the first thing down that came to mind. It seems to work better that way.
I was only supposed to pick one of the prompts in the middle section. I narrowed it to 20. (What a rebel I am.)
I am Ellen Yale.
I am a life coach.
I help people become more amazing at being themselves.
I help people be less “in their heads”.
I help people be more joyful.
I help people be more confident at facing their truth.
I help people embrace their divine discomfort.
I help people experience staying in the moment.
I help people feel connected.
I help people free themselves from their same old stories.
I help people have less frustration.
I help people have more of what they want.
I help people learn how to stay in their own business.
I help people learn how to show who they really are.
I help people unlearn how to push through to make things happen.
I help people reframe the way they talk to themselves.
I help people simplify the way they do everything.
I help people start doing nothing.
I help people stop doing nothing.
I take action towards relieving the world’s pain.
I understand that each person has their own answers.
I help people find the greatness inside them.
Because if you can figure out how to think, you can change the direction of your entire life.
So then I followed the rules, and stuck to four sentences this is what it boiled down to:
I am Ellen Yale.
I am a life coach.
I help people become more amazing at being themselves.
Because if you can figure out how to think, you can change the direction of your entire life.
That is what I do.
That feels right.
If you want to try it here are Alexandra’s prompts:
(You don’t have to work for pay to have your what and why together. In fact it may even be more meaningful to have your “elevator speech” together if you are not labeled by a career. In fact, my next challenge to myself will be to write my elevator speech without focusing on work. Ha!)
My name is ________________.
I’m a ________________, ________________ and ________________.
Ultimately, all of my work is about helping people …
{choose one}
… be less ________________
… be more ________________
… become amazing at ________________
… become more confident at ________________
… experience ________________
… feel ________________
… have less ________________
… have more ________________
… learn how to ________________
… (un)learn how to ________________
… reframe the way they ________________
… simplify the way they ________________
… start doing ________________
… stop doing ________________
… take action towards ________________
… understand ________________
(Because ________________.)
That is what I do.
Have fun!
I am starting a series of the important stuff I want my kids to know.
I am perfectly healthy, but there are things I would regret if I didn’t pass on to them.
Today’s message?
I am just a floating head being carted around by a robot body.
Well, that’s how I have been acting. I haven’t listened to my body, and when it screams loudly enough for me to hear (like, “My back is aching, I need to lay down!”)
I treat it like a robot and command it to continue.
I make it work when it is sick.
I make it stay awake when it wants to sleep.
I feed it Krispy Kremes instead of crunchy greens.
Our society has taught us to let our minds rule our bodies. Look at doctors. When they go through their training, they stay up 36 hours at a time. Are their creature bodies telling them to sleep? To rest? To eat? You betcha. But their minds are tuning out their bodies.
It’s part of the culture.
You are a good person if you go to work even when you are sick. You are a good person if you work longer, harder, push through, starve yourself thin, run a marathon… the list goes on.
When was the last time you listened to your body? I mean really listened? Do you actually wait to feel hungry every time before you eat? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you really getting enough sleep? Why am I still using Photoshop if my carpel tunnel is barking at me?
I am slowly learning to turn my robot body back into the beautiful creature it is.
So here’s what I suggest. Pay attention to the signals your body is giving you. Your body never lies. Take it’s advice sometimes. If that works out, do it more of the time.
Get used to the language of your body then try this: Use your body as a tool for decision-making.
Listen to your body for an overall feeling of shackles on and shackles off.
For example, if there is a job you are thinking about taking, your mind will carefully consider the pros and cons, salary, commuting, challenge, etc.
Fine.
But then stop and listen to your body. Does taking the job feel like somebody is putting shackles on you, or someone releasing you to freedom?
Freedom or Trapped? It’s as simple as that.
Then follow your body’s advice.
That’s what they call mind/body connection. Instead of letting your mind be the dictator, let your mind and body work together. Your mind will let society sway it; your body is your true compass.
Now go to sleep, kids. Your body needs rest. J