Sounds pretty hokey… follow your bliss.
So let me be the hokey decoder.
Sure, following your bliss means following your passion.
Or follow your feel-good. (Didn’t think I could get more hokey, did you?)
But simply put, people like people who are lit up inside.
I totally think that’s why my husband was attracted to me when we met. We happened to be in a group at a party where two of my favorite subjects were brought up.
I was trying to be low key since I hadn’t technically been invited to this party. (Only young, nubile ballerinas had been invited, and it was pretty evident I was not a ballerina.)
But I couldn’t keep quiet on these topics.
I was passionate.
I was animated.
I had clear, salient points to add to the conversation.
I oozed with enthusiasm.
I was on fiyah. (Hokey alert: That’s how I say, “fire” when I am on fire.)
Some people think that following your bliss is a secret beacon.
There is a path predetermined by the universe/God that is marked with the effervescence of your bliss.
Even if that’s not your belief, there is solid science that says following your bliss, or doing what lights you up inside, draws to you the things you most want.
Because people like people who are vibrant and lit up.
Who would you rather be with at a party… a sparkly, joyful woman or a woman whose eye’s say, “Meh.”
Hey – I look at my wedding photos and I think I look more vivacious than in other photos because I am blissing hard.
Maybe it’s magic.
Maybe it’s science.
Either way, bliss feels pretty good, so doing more of what makes you joyful is a win-win strategy to navigate life.
Whether you know it or not, you have a rule book for people in your life.
There is an unwritten set of rules of things you want people to do.
They usually don’t even know you have these requirements of them.
We get upset when they don’t give us the right gift.
Or like the same people we like.
We expect them to laugh the right amount, raise the children the way we were raised and know when we want to leave a party.
Or load the dishwasher the RIGHT WAY.
This rule book is thick.
Here’s the thing:
When other people don’t follow our rule book, we think it means they don’t love us. Or they don’t respect us.
But that is rarely the case.
Try this: Make a request.
For example, ask them to meet you at a certain time.
Then if they don’t honor the request, you take the responsibility for how you feel about it.
You can make it mean they are a horrible person.
Or you can make it mean that they aren’t there at the stated time.
Drama or no drama?
It’s your choice.
And consider giving the rule book a break.
We could all use a break.
Doesn’t that sound heavenly… unconditional love?
It sounds like a big emotional hug because we imagine that it comes from someone else.
We imagine being loved for who we are, no matter what.
No. Matter. What.
It feels like a strong tree to lean against.
But here’s the thing:
It seems like unconditional love comes from someone else.
We are looking for validation from outside of ourselves.
And the truth is we can never feel a feeling because of something external.
All kinds of love, including unconditional love, are an inside job.
And that is really good news!
Because you create your own unconditional love.
Always.
You have access to it all the time.
Any time.
No one else can feel it for you.
Or create it for you.
You are free to love yourself or someone else.
With no conditions.
No asterisks.
And why not? Love feels incredible.
I don’t see the downside.
You can see the reality of what is happening around you and still feel unconditional love.
It’s not causal.
It’s your choice.
I want to offer you a thought to think… “I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Or better yet, “I love me and there’s nothing you can do about it.”