Where do your lightbulb moments happen?

Our brains are amazing.
But we only use our conscious brain to stew around poking at our same old problems, thinking that a new idea will fabricate out of thin air.

All the while, our powerful subconscious is waiting at our disposal to help us make choices or come up with new ideas.

The reason the shower is a great place for a lot of people to come up with new solutions is that it is the perfect blend of engagement and disengagement.

But there are other places that have that blend… where you are occupied physically with rote activities, but it doesn’t take focus and concentration.

I think taking a walk is the same way. You have to be involved enough not to fall into a hole, but you have band width to relax and let things come to you.

I’ve also had epiphanies hand-washing dishes with no electronic distractions like TV or radio.

What is your thinking place? 

Yes, I have a death coach.

Not to deal with the feelings of death (although that is awesome) but she helps me know the social etiquette around death and funerals.

I used to think things were done differently in the South (like always bring food) but over time I’ve come to realize that it was just that my Mom avoided having funerals or letting me go to funerals or talk about funerals.*

I didn’t know the customs.

But now I do.

I will call my death coach on the phone and say, “Neighbor, never met him, saw his wife once a year at Halloween… go!” And she would spit out, “Chicken pot pie, funeral service optional.”

She is never wrong.

But now it’s her mother who died.
So, I have no reference.

I called her and said, “I need to know what to do for you since you are my death coach.” She said, “Nothing, since we aren’t having the service until next month.”

But I have learned from the master. So, I brought her a chicken pot pie… her mother’s recipe. And for the service/celebration of life I will take a professional photo of the extended family.

I also learned another lesson from her dear old friend who is staying with me while in town for the service. She told me that whenever you are invited to a wedding or hear about a funeral, go.
They are one of life’s milestones.

Give support just by being.

I like that.
I can do that.

When I know better I do better.

Wishing you all the kind of coach you need.

*I will mention that Mom has never had a problem talking about her own funeral. If she really liked someone she would invite them to perform… perhaps to sing a song or do something funny.
Maybe she just needed her own death etiquette coach.

Once you know this, you can’t not see it.

In a landmark 1995 study, bronze medalists appear happier than silver medal winners.

Why?

When they thought about the alternative outcome, THAT created their level of happiness.

When the silver medalists thought of an alternative outcome, it was winning gold.
When bronze medalists thought of an alternative outcome, it was zippo… not winning any medal.

I just saw Bobby Finke disappointed in his silver medal swim. He wanted the gold.

A key component of this phenomenon is that for humans, the pain of loss is more psychologically powerful than a gain of the same intensity.

We are wired to avoid pain.

I noticed it while watching the men’s Olympic gymnastics team finals. China was stunned (not in a good way) when they won the silver, but team USA was ecstatic when they won the bronze. 
So fun to watch.

I still think it would be surreal to win a silver medal.

But then, I am comparing it to not even being in Paris.
That’s my perspective.

On to the next event.