I love it when I hear things that make me look at life in a whole new way.
Abraham Hicks does that to me fairly often.
Mind blown.
We are not in pursuit of joy.
We are not seeking joy.
Joy is not the end goal.
We are joy.
Let’s find what’s getting in the way of feeling that joy every moment of every day.
What sort of mist or delusion is creating the veil between you and your natural state of joy?
Is it people pleasing? The daily grind? A bad situation? War?
Just thinking about being joy rings true.
It melts the disconnect.
You are love and joy and freedom and clarity expressing itself.
Your purpose is not finding joy. You are joy.
The best skill for personal growth is being willing to be wrong.
Not just the best skill, but a necessary skill for personal growth.
Now, your brain might be saying, “Yes. I am always willing to accept that I am wrong if you show it to me. Prove to me I am wrong and I will happily concede.”
But how often does that happen?
Usually someone challenges what you are saying, and the natural human response is to push back and make your case.
“Because anyone with any common sense knows I am right!”
Plus, most of the time when someone thinks you are wrong, they don’t tell you.
They just think it.
You don’t get the chance to be willing to be wrong.
If you are right all the time, there is no growth.
And get this; you are most likely to be wrong about the things you are most sure about.
At least when it comes to what is causing you emotional pain.
When my friend Sadie was mad at her boyfriend because he dumped her, she was pissed. Because he was wrong to dump her.
We have all felt that way.
And then most of us realize that it was the best thing that could have happened to us.
So long Romeo!
My friend Joanna was passed over for a job she knew she was more than qualified for, so she felt hurt and overlooked.
We have all felt hurt.
But she was willing to explore the thought that she was wrong about that job being the perfect fit for her.
That was mind-blowing for her.
It changed who she thought she should be.
You must be willing to blow up your own “truths” to become the next version of yourself.
Try this: The next time you are in emotional pain, write down what is unjust, then rewrite it with the word should in front of it.
Then let your brain relax and fiddle around and find the truth in that statement.
Example: My mother shouldn’t be losing her mind.
My mother SHOULD be losing her mind.
Truth: We all age in our own ways.
What do you know for sure that you are you willing to disbelieve?
Growing up, I was extreme in setting boundaries.
I thought that if someone was mean or rude or thoughtless to me, they didn’t deserve to be my friend.
If you laugh at me, you are history.
I wasn’t going to allow that to happen to me again.
I didn’t have a lot of friends.
Somewhere along the way to adulthood (probably well into adulthood), I changed my mind.
I taught my children that if someone is thoughtless, mean, or rude, don’t throw them out with the bathwater. If you let people in close… if you let them see you as you really are… mistakes are going to be made.
Allow them to be human.
IF it doesn’t become a habit and they are not physically hurting you.
Don’t be a doormat. But don’t expect perfection.
Look at the tv show, Friends.
The friends lied to each other, cheated on each other, took each other’s apartments, insulted each other… I could give you 10 years’ worth of examples.
But there was an undercurrent of mutual love.
Keep in mind that people who love you can mistreat you and cross your boundary.
Love isn’t always enough.
The trick is to know where to draw the line in the sand.
Where is your line?
What will you allow?
With friends? partners? children? bosses?
Do you stay too long or burn bridges too fast?
What relationships do you have that need a little boundary attention?