The reason you feel like there’s not enough…
the reason you sometimes feel poor…
the reason you have a lack mentality is not because you don’t make enough money.
It’s not that you don’t have enough saved.
It’s not that you overspend.
It’s that you are under-feeling.
You are not fully feeling your feelings.
- You are not asking for the raise because you are avoiding possibly feeling rejected.
- You are going down the Amazon shopping rabbit hole because you don’t want to feel so lonely.
- You are numbing yourself from feeling the pain of saying no to a relative who wants you to pay for their college education.
- You buy a bigger house/car/handbag than you would if you didn’t want to feel judged by the Joneses.
Think of the reason you are stressed about money.
Every reason involves under-feeling.
This is amazing news, because once you know the cause, the solution becomes crystal clear!
Let yourself feel your feelings.
All your feelings, the good AND the bad.
Feel more.
THAT’S how to fix your underlying financial worries.
I have been rereading the Tao de Ching, and I must need this idea in my life, because this jumped out at me…
“When nothing is done, nothing is left undone.”
Maybe I am feeling overwhelmed at balancing work and home life, parenting kids, parenting an aging parent, spousing, and well, the world right now.
So doing nothing sounds yummy.
But doing nothing and having it all done sounds too good to be true.
It sounds like woo woo hocus pocus.
I’m all for a little woo… all religions are based on belief in things that can’t be explained by science (yet).
And who are we without some sort of wonder and awe?
But here is what I think Lao Tzu was saying:
Force things less and less until you finally arrive at non-action.
Go along with the true nature of the world, letting things take their natural course.
(My translation would include letting your sphincter muscle relax and go with the flow.)
This doesn’t mean total inaction.
It doesn’t mean lay on the couch in your underpants with the remote in hand and the drapes drawn.
It just FEELS like inaction because we are letting things naturally unfold.
We can stop trying to make things fit our idea of positive outcome.
Or maybe Lao Tzu meant for us to stop the hustle.
Stop keeping score.
Stop the struggle.
I think that the translator, Stephen Mitchell, explained it best as… not doing because you become part of it.
Like when you can’t tell the dancer apart from the dance.
How I am going to try to use idea of doing nothing in my own life:
Instead of doing things to support my loved ones I AM support because I embody it. I don’t have to DO things to support them, when they think of support they think of me.
They feel supported because I am support.
Instead of teaching coaching tools to help people questions beliefs I aim to LIVE it… in the harmony of not holding on to my beliefs too tightly. I am living the tool.
To go another layer deep…
“The softest things of the world can overcome the hardest things of the world.” ~Lao Tzu
Tao Te Ching Chapter 78
Nothing in the world
is as soft and yielding as water.
Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible,
nothing can surpass it.
The soft overcomes the hard;
the gentle overcomes the rigid.
Everyone knows this is true,
but few can put it into practice.
Therefore the Master remains
serene in the midst of sorrow.
Evil cannot enter his heart.
Because he has given up helping,
he is people’s greatest help.
True words seem paradoxical.
[Lao Tzu, translated by Stephen Mitchell]
Be the water.
What do you think?
I am breaking the rules again.
My marketing team says to pick one thing to “fix”.
One niche.
One central idea of how I help people.
But I’m getting older.
I’m less inclined to do what I am told.
(I’m such a scamp.)
So I am going with more of a smorgasbord strategy.
Not because I think it’s a better way to spread my message, but because it feels right.
I have more to offer.
And that right there is the compass I use in all of my work.
I am steering towards what feels delicious.
Not only do I do money coaching, but I do straight up life coaching.
I have always been a life coach. But sometimes I need to tell people to remind them.
So I have a new offer.
Here is my first attempt of explaining what I do. Click here to read about it . Let me know if you think I could be clearer. Or if you think I should use fewer bulleted lists. (Yep, probably.)
So, I am a Money Coach AND a Life Coach.
You don’t have to feel stress around money to work with me.
I have two more items I am adding to the smorgasbord of offerings in the next few weeks.
So tuck in your napkin and wear your pants with an elastic waist.
There is more to come!