Most of us pretend about money.
Pretend we make more.
Pretend we make less.
We are hiding from ourselves and our money truth
and other people.
Money is a taboo subject.
We don’t want to talk about it in public.
Or even in private.
We make money mean that we are worthy.
Or not worthy.
We say things like, “I can’t afford that.”
Or, “It’s ok, I can afford it.”
We worry about other people judging us by what we spend.
The size of our house.
The trips we go on.
The way we tip.
What we wear.
It’s exhausting.
Trying to pretend that we have more money.
Or pretending we have less money.
We don’t want to be thought of as stuck up.
We don’t want to feel pressured to pick up the bill.
When we pretend, we are lying to ourselves.
Because we think the truth hurts.
But the truth never hurts.
Tell yourself the truth.
And tell the truth to the people who have earned the right to hear your truth.
When you speak your money truth,
shame dissolves
and you don’t have to hide.
Your whole body can secretly unclench.
And that feels a whole lot better than pretending.
Magazines, old exercise equipment, old bills and clothes that don’t fit.
It all had to go.
These were things that cluttered my life.
I couldn’t open one of my closet doors because it was stuffed so full of things I thought I might use but never have.
When I had a friend over last week, I took the extra magazines and buckets and games and jammed them into my utility room so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.
And while I’m not shaming myself for having clutter, I don’t want to have to hide anything in my life.
I don’t want to feel ashamed if someone pops in for a visit.
My stuff was getting in the way of living the life I wanted.
Since I wanted to get my financial house in order, I needed to get my actual house in order.
Because how you do one thing is how you do everything.
I was hanging onto a lot of stuff because I thought I might need it in the future.
I thought I might not find it in the stores again if I needed to replace it.
And I thought I shouldn’t spend the money to buy it a second time.
I have all sorts of painful thoughts that apply to my house and my money.
I thought that keeping a lot of my Grandmother’s things would ensure that I remember her often.
Instead there is so much clutter that I just see a mess instead of a few individual beloved things I cherish.
These are the same types of thoughts that are keeping me from more abundance in my financial life.
I keep paying the gym membership so that I don’t have to pay the initiation fee a second time when I really do start going regularly.
I have two cars for this very reason.
I keep my old car cluttering up the driveway in case my new car breaks down. And I pay double in insurance and upkeep.
The clutter that I keep around so I don’t risk losing money is costing me more money.
Both in my house and my money life, I sometimes operate from a place of scarcity.
And that creates clutter.
And clutter creates more scarcity.
I know it seems counterintuitive, but having things can create scarcitywhen there is too much stuff.
The key is having the right things.
Have only the stuff in your home that has a purpose and fills you with joy and supports the feelings you want to have in your home.
The same thing goes for your financial life.
Only spend money on things that give you the feelings you want deep down.
Let the rest go from your life.
And if having the thing makes you feel scarce, take a hard pass.
You will be surprised how much easier life is when you don’t hold onto things because of fear.
And who doesn’t want easier?
Is your house in order?
I was nothing more than a head being carried around by my body.
My head would rule my body. My brain was the boss.
I think we all do it.
My body would tell me I need to sleep but my head would say, “No, you have to get this work done by tomorrow.”
My body would tell me to rest if I felt a cold coming on but my head would say, “I promised I would take my kids to the sprinkler park.”
My eyes would tell me to stop staring at screens so much but my head would keep me on task.
My stomach would tell me I’m not hungry yet, but my head said, “It’s noon. Eat now or you will starve by dinner.”
My arm would tell me to put the mouse down but my head would say, “That’s how you make a living.”
It happened every day.
And my brain would always win.
That’s just how us humans operate.
That’s what we are told to do since we were in kindergarten.
When you are five-year-old and your body tells you to go to the bathroom, you don’t just go.
You raise your hand and ask to go.
And sometimes you get to and sometimes you have to wait.
Your brain has been trained to do what the teacher says.
I’m not saying it’s a totally bad thing.
Because 20 five-year-olds running to the bathroom at the same time is not a pretty scene.
But I am saying that as a culture we have tuned out of the wisdom of our bodies.
We have gotten very used to pushing down our feelings and sensations if the brain has a different agenda.
It is time to tune back into all this information our bodies are providing us.
You body is providing you with guidance in all areas of your life.
If you are about to make a money decision, what does your gut say?
You gut is giving you a lot of good information from your brain.
It’s just not the part of your brain that controls language.
I recently read that if your therapy or self-help isn’t working it’s because you haven’t listened to the intelligence of your body.
That’s what makes my money coaching different than anyone else’s.
I coach the whole you.
When people try to fix their money problems, they are totally in their head.
I am suggesting you use your head AND your body.
You don’t want to ignore the intelligent reasoning of your head, just don’t let it be a dictator.
When you are ready to improve your relationship with money, check in with your body.
Think about the money decision you are trying to make.
Is your body relaxed and light or tense and constricted?
Your body is on your side.
Give it a listen.
It’s a bit of an art to learn to interpret your body’s guidance, but it’s worth the effort.
Your body will always tell you the truth.