It’s a contradiction.
You can’t do it.
You can’t restrict your way to an abundant life.
You can’t go on a restrictive budget and feel expansive.
It’s not the fault of the budget.
Budgets can be great tools to help you make decisions about your life.
But if you think the budget is limiting you and making your life smaller, you will feel like you are in shackles.
If you feel like you are in shackles, you look for ways to NOT do things instead of ways to make your life bigger.
You will turn down chances to go do new things.
You will interact with people in a way that shuts down new opportunity.
Just the other day I went out to lunch with my mother and daughter, and I decided to just have a cup of coffee to save some money.
I had made the decision to go out for lunch, but I wasn’t spending from a place of abundance.
WELL, the order took a long time and our entire meal was comped.
If I had felt abundant and ordered a meal it would have been free.
But I wasn’t feeling abundant and abundance ran in the opposite direction.
This was not a one-time thing.
This kind of thing happens to me all the time when I have a scarcity mindset.
I miss out.
I have missed meeting the band.
And a free trip.
And invitations to parties.
If you think you are restricted you are the opposite of abundant.
You feel scarcity.
You have to feel abundant to create more abundance.
Try this:
Only spend money when it makes you feel more abundant to do so.
(This isn’t as often as you would think.)
Stop when you fill up your tank with gas and ask yourself, “Does this feel great? Am I thankful that I have a car and I have the money to fill it with gas to take me exactly where I want to go?”
If so, that’s an abundant spend.
Pause when you take that pair of Luis Vuitton shoes to the cash register. Does this purchase make you feel abundant? Or is there another emotion going on there?
Are you making a “fog” purchase?
Or are you trying to numb a hint of anxiety and these shoes give you that new shoe high?
Just make sure you are spending your money from a feeling of abundance.
Oh and… don’t hate yourself in the process.
When you go on a budget while hating yourself for your spending, hateful things happen.
Figure out how to love yourself and think thoughts that make you feel abundant.
Stop blaming budgets.
Stop blaming yourself.
The positive results will be inevitable.
You know that thing where you learn something new and then you start seeing it everywhere?
It happened to me recently when I learned who Cardi B is and then I start seeing Cardi B everywhere!
That happens because of your reticular activating system (RAS).
It’s a bundle of nerves at your brainstem that filters out unnecessary information and sifts through to what your brain thinks is important and brings that to your attention.
Like when you are in a noisy mall and your squeeze calls your name and you hear it above all of the hubbub.
That’s what I’m talking about.
The RAS decides what to filter out and what to notice based on what you believe is important.
Let’s take this sciency sounding thing and break it down to this…
You see proof of what you already believe.
If you believe you are smart, you will probably do better on tests.
If you believe you are popular, you will probably have more friends.
If you believe you will be rich, you will probably have wealth.
How this affects you:
One of the things that stops people from reaching their money goals is because they think they don’t know how to reach them.
That’s what they already believe.
Because they have never achieved these particular goals before.
Like making a million dollars.
Or paying off their loans.
Or finding new clients.
Here’s the problem:
To make a big leap like achieving their goals, people want to know the “how” ahead of time.
“But Ellen, I don’t know HOW I’m going to pay for the car repairs I need.”
Listen: I want to suggest that no one knows how to reach their dreams.
Not ahead of time.
If you want to start a business and equal your corporate salary, you may be worried that you don’t now exactly how you are going to do it.
If your dream is to be able to pay for your kids’ college education, you may be worried that you don’t know how to accumulate that much wealth in a short period of time.
Here is what I want you to understand:
You don’t have to know “how” to get started.
Once you start, you figure out the next thing to do and the next.
Your reticular activating system helps you with the “how”.
It filters out the clutter and helps you see the dots so you can connect them.
You start by making some dots.
You are here.
And you want to go there.
Dot, dot.
This is incredibly good news.
Your brain has a way of helping you figure out how to reach your dreams AS you are taking action.
You just have to dream it and feel it and act on those feelings.
Believe the next step will be there when you go to take it.
Your brain is filtering out all the extraneous stuff so you know what to do next.
Incredible!
Sometimes if feels like the universe has cleared the path for you and has magically laid out help along the way.
And here’s a pro tip to prime your RAS like freaking rocket fuel:
Focus your intentions often.
Think about your goals. Write down your goals. Talk about your goals.
That’s the way to supercharge your brain to scan for the “how”.
Is it your brain at it’s best or is the universe working in your favor?
Sure feels like both to me.
My mother thought it was inappropriate for my sister to give me a set of investing workbooks for my wedding.
I thought it was the best gift ever.
I had been asking my sister about the best way to invest. Her company gave out this set of workbooks that allow you to personalize and take charge of your own investing.
You take a quiz to determine your risk as well and it teaches you an overall strategy to invest in mutual funds.
Perfect for me.
It was a woman teaching a woman about money.
Sharing her wisdom.
I LOVE IT!
Perhaps the most interesting part is that my mother would think it was an inappropriate wedding gift.
Would a gravy boat serve me better?
Would a set of china secure my future?
The investing I have done has secured a retirement for my husband and I.
Having a clear plan for how to invest has eliminated any bickering or fighting as we would surely have argued about it otherwise.
I think it is a very loving, useful and bountiful wedding gift.
And it has paid off 110 fold.
People give money as a wedding gift.
Why not give a way to make our lives gloriously abundant as a gift?
I would sign up for that ten times over.
Easily.
Thanks, Gayle.