There is debt that feels good and debt that feels bad.

Some debt can feel good… like buying your first house.

The pride of ownership and knowing that your monthly payments are going towards owning a home rather than renting feels really good.

Good feeling debt is also debt that you are fully aware of.

You know the numbers.

You are glad when that bill comes because you are happy to pay for the thing or service you got.

I am so happy to pay for my son’s surgery. I would pay ten times what it cost us to have him alive and well.

Good feeling debt feels good both that you own this glorious thing and good when you think about making the payment.

All sorts of good.

Then there’s bad debt.

Bad debt can be tricky.

Debt that feels bad may feel good at first.

Like the rush of excitement when you buy a car impulsively.

You just went in to look and you ride out with keys and a contract.

Woo hoo!

But then that rush of dopamine and adrenaline begins to drain out of your body and it doesn’t feel so great.

You don’t feel so good about the purchase because it’s something that doesn’t bring you sustained joy.

Or bad debt can feel badly when you start making payments and you have to give up other things you love.

The first step to getting out of debt is to, from this day forward, only take on good feeling debt.

Turn off the faucet of debt regret.

Then be truthful about the debt you already carry

and forgive yourself for being in debt.

If you think you made a money mistake, own that. Be ok with taking a loss if that helps you pay off the debt. That’s telling yourself the truth.

That’s being an emotional adult.

There are a lot of ways to pay off your debt, but if you 

• Don’t take on new bad debt, 
• Face the debt you have by tell yourself the truth and 
• Treat yourself compassionately, 

you have set the stage for financial wellbeing.

Bag lady syndrome knows no boundaries.

I have clients who are multimillionaires who stay awake at night in fear that they will lose all their money and end up living under an overpass as a bag lady.

It really doesn’t matter how much money you have.
The tell tale sign is that you are afraid you will lose it all.

Your brain goes to the extreme.

In a study of 2,213 women with household incomes of $30,000 or more the majority said they “often” or “sometimes” fear losing all their money and becoming homeless.

What?!?

And A THIRD of women with household incomes of $200,000 or higher often or sometimes fear losing all of their money and becoming homeless.

Crazy.

Why don’t men have the same fear?

Personal Finance Editor Richard Eisenberg says, “For the most part, there are three things we as men don’t think we need help with: directions; in the bedroom… men think they were born with an extra gift; and money. We think we can figure it out on our own.” 

I know, I know, it’s ridiculous.

It’s easy to see how wrong the men are.
It’s easy to see someone else’s problems.
Let’s turn the lens on ourselves.
Maybe it’s just as ridiculous to them that we have bag lady fears.

Bag lady syndrome comes from a scarcity mindset.

It comes from thoughts like…
“I might make a big financial mistake.”
“The whole economy might tank.”
“I don’t have enough money.”

And thoughts like these are intertwined with the idea that you have no control over your outcomes in life.

So much suffering, 
and yet we are still warm and dry and safe.
​​​​​​​But that’s how our brains work.  
Our minds try to keep us safe.

Friends, let me make a suggestion.

You can choose to disbelieve these painful thoughts.

You get to decide what you think.

You can decide to disbelieve that you will end up a bag lady.

You don’t hit hard financial times and then give up.
You get a job.
Or live with relatives.
Or ask for help.

And I have yet to have a client who has become homeless.

But homelessness is never really the issue.
It’s what’s going on in your mind.

The fear.

So when you feel the fear rising, stop and ask yourself… 

Is it true?

Choose to disbelieve.

And be compassionate with yourself.

Maybe we can take a page from the men.

We can always get more money.
There is plenty to go around.

Let this be your meditation for today…
There is plenty.

We all have a money story.

That story includes how we have spent money in the past and how we learned hard lessons about money and about how much money we have earned or how much we haven’t earned.

And this is important because it gives us clues about what we are thinking about money.

But what is most important is your relationship with money right now.

There is so much baggage that goes along with you and money.How much do you have?
What does that mean about you?

You may have $100,000 and think you hit the lottery.  Or you may have $100,000 and think that it’s possible you will be a bag lady within a year.

You get to decide in your head what money means.

Because money isn’t real. Money is an agreement we have all made to assign a value to a piece of paper.  Or a plastic card.  Or some numbers on a computer screen.

And talking and thinking about money is fascinating because it’s really ultimately about worthiness and values.

It’s a story.

Your story.

And the really cool part is that you can write the money story of your future.

Write it down for real.

And then take the first step to make that story a reality.

Each day take another little step.

Big change can happen with tiny steps.