When I imagine the college life I want for my kids, I see them striding through campus with a big smile on their face. I picture my son raising his arm to wave at a group of friends across the quad who look excited to see him. I picture him walking into the classroom with a bright, “Hi!” to his professor. He takes his seat and shifts his weight forward, ready to interact and take notes. He is primed and poised to take on the world.
He is confident.
I imagine what it would look like if my son were not confident at college.
He shuffles across campus with his hoodie up, earbuds in, head down, arms full of books to create a wall that protects him from interacting. He tries to slip into the classroom unnoticed and slides into a chair in the back of the room, where he hunches over a blank notebook.
I want scenario #1.
Not only does it seem like life comes more easily to self-confident people, being confident feels good.
It feels really good to think you can handle anything that may happen.
It feels really good to expect things will go your way.
Because how you think directly affects how you act. And how you act tells people how to treat you.
Choosing confident thoughts creates confidence.
It takes practice.
And creating confidence is a skill that can be learned.
And that’s priceless.
Try breaking it down into daily bites.
(It helps if you sound curious about how their amazing brain works, not dictator-like.) Remember, you don’t have to fix things to help them feel better.
Most high school seniors get hung up on the future…
“Will I make friends in college?”
“Will I get into my first choice?”
“What if I can’t get in the school I want?”
Or they get stuck in the past…
“I can’t bare to leave my friends.”
“Things will never be this great again.”
Take a deep breath.
You can’t experience the past right now and you can’t experience the future until it gets here.
All you have is now.
The rest are just thoughts about the past or the future.
And thoughts, you can change.