Once you know this, you can’t not see it.
In a landmark 1995 study, bronze medalists appear happier than silver medal winners.
Why?
When they thought about the alternative outcome, THAT created their level of happiness.
When the silver medalists thought of an alternative outcome, it was winning gold.
When bronze medalists thought of an alternative outcome, it was zippo… not winning any medal.
I just saw Bobby Finke disappointed in his silver medal swim. He wanted the gold.
A key component of this phenomenon is that for humans, the pain of loss is more psychologically powerful than a gain of the same intensity.
We are wired to avoid pain.
I noticed it while watching the men’s Olympic gymnastics team finals. China was stunned (not in a good way) when they won the silver, but team USA was ecstatic when they won the bronze.
So fun to watch.
I still think it would be surreal to win a silver medal.
But then, I am comparing it to not even being in Paris.
That’s my perspective.
On to the next event.
Most things that are hard to do are not actually hard to do.
They are just made up of a bunch of small things that we do consistently for a long time.
Raising children: consistency for a long time.
College: consistency for years.
Career: consistent for a long, long time.
Climbing a mountain: practicing hand holds and balance over and over and over.
The other type of hard thing is not made up of a bunch of small things.
They feel difficult because they involve a bad feeling.
Telling someone you are breaking up with them.
Facing a serious illness.
Understanding dark matter and string theory.
So, there are two types of hard things.
One you master by doing small things repeatedly with consistency.
The other you get through by being willing to feel all the feelings.
Figure out which you are facing and you have a strategy.
(Sometimes it’s both.)
Either way, you’ve got this.
A lot of you want to experience life at a whole new, different, bigger, more enlightened level.
Beautiful.
Yes.
What an experience.
But here’s what most people don’t know until they uplevel their life:
You have to give up some good things to live at the next level.
Since you are already filling your 24-hour day in some way, you have to set some things down to make room for this new version of your life.
Things you like.
And while that sounds sad, it’s something we experience throughout our lives when we are forced to grow.
It’s like graduating from high school.
You might have to leave behind friendships you have had since kindergarten.
You may leave behind having your parents and teachers make decisions for you… life was simpler.
You may stop getting free room and board and become responsible for supporting yourself financially.
Those are pretty amazing things you leave behind on your journey.
But you won’t have the life of a fully realized adult if you don’t let go of some of the good things in life to make room for the growth.
So now, later in life, you get to CHOOSE to grow your life.
That’s where some people get stuck.
They only want to get rid of the crappy parts of life and exchange them for awesomeness.
But it doesn’t work that way.
You lose a bit of the good parts in order to gain in big luscious areas that give your life meaning.
The great news is who you become because of the struggle on your journey is totally worth it.