I am getting ready to call my mother-in-law and tell her that we’re not coming for the annual 4th of July celebration.
I don’t really want to tell her why.
It will just worry her for no good reason.
And there’s truly nothing to worry about.
But when setting boundaries, I don’t owe other people a reason.
I can just decline.
Or I can even have fun with it.
It delights me to think of telling her, “I must decline for secret reasons.”
For just a moment it makes me feel like a secret operative.
So I may try that and see what she says.
I’ll keep you posted.
You are losing integrity with yourself.
Here is what most women I know are doing …
You tell yourself you are going to do something for yourself.
And then you don’t do it.
You say you are going to put yourself first.
And then you put someone else’s need before yours.
You say you are going to lose weight.
And then you eat the pie because your neighbor made it specially for you.
You say you are going to start saving 10% of your income to invest in your retirement.
And then the surprise dental bill comes up and you don’t put anything in savings.
Sure, sometimes you have to make a tough call and not follow through.
But there are hidden consequences.
When you don’t follow through on a promise you make to yourself, you lose integrity with yourself.
You won’t fully believe yourself the next time you tell yourself you are going to do something.
Then that spirals.
You make more promises to yourself, and you are not fully committed because you know you might not have your own back.
There’s only one antidote.
Make a commitment to take action.
Then take the action.
Especially with yourself.
You won’t have to work to believe you can achieve something if you know you will take action. That’s rock solid confidence.
Believe in your integrity to keep promises to yourself
and believe that you are worth it.
That is what propels you forward.
Stressed out?
I am writing you a prescription for forest bathing.
Japanese studies show that the health benefits of forest bathing can last as long as 30 days.
It’s pretty much like the name says.
You choose a nice patch of forest or woods or in a pinch a city park.
Once you are among the trees, sit or walk or do some tai chi.
Find a spot that speaks to you.
No phone.
Of course.
Then engage your senses.
Smell. Inhale the phytocides.
Ask yourself, “What all do I smell?”
Listen for the sounds.
Listen for the sounds beyond the sounds.
Notice the colors.
Take it all in.
Touch the leaves and plants. Are the leaves wet with dew? Are they soft or rigid or prickly?
Like water in a bath, let the forest enfold you.
It can lower your body’s stress hormones.
Extra credit points for bare feet.
How long? Start with any amount of time… 30 seconds all you can do? No problem.
Then gradually work your way up to 2 hours.
If you want.
No pressure.
If your monkey brain chatter keeps interrupting you, taking you out of the moment, let those thoughts pass through you like a cloud, and direct your attention back to your five senses.
Forest bathing… too simple for us busy folks to do.
But it’s like breathing… simple, but has great benefits,
and we are meant to do it.