It’s always hard to explain what Whitney does for a living. Maybe the best way is to say that it’s what every boy would do if you put all the things boys thinks are cool together, and made it into a job.
He makes things.
For movies and commercials.
Like a severed head. (It scares the neighborhood children in our basement.)
A bed that will sway down when someone sits on it, but not kill Whoopie Goldberg who is lying under the bed.
He built and rigged a book to shake and burst into flames for Angels in America.
He operated fake elevator doors to open for Damien Lewis and Mandy Patinkin for a Homeland promo.
He weakened a barn enough so that a stunt driver could crash a car through the barn wall but not so weak that the barn would fall down and kill him.
He sculpted three large dolphins and repaired a six-foot tall eyeball at the science museum.
He made a grill out of a beer keg.
He makes guns that flash and pop but don’t kill.
He fabricated a 20-foot cornucopia for the Thanksgiving parade.
He sculpted chessboard pieces in the shape of the UNC Chapel Hill buildings.
To name a few.
I can hear all the 13-year-old boys now…
“Where can you go to get that sort of job?”
You don’t.
You create it.
He learned to solder various metals, work with wood, suction-mold plastic, handle pyrotechnics and work with electricity and electronics just because it was interesting and fun.
With the world-changing so rapidly, many of the jobs my kids know about now will not be around when they graduate from college.
In these fast-moving times, you have to surf the waves of change and create the job and the life you want.
I used to think you looked at what jobs there are out there, like a menu, and picked one to pursue.
I also used to think that you should work extra hard at the things you aren’t good at so you are a well-rounded person.
My thoughts have changed.
Here’s the new model:
Look at what you like to do.
What you really have a passion for.
What you can’t imagine getting paid for because it’s so fun and comes so easily.
Then look at what you are good at.
Look at where those two things intersect and then do it.
A lot.
If you are in your zone of genius (which you should be if you would do it for no money and you are good at it), talk to everyone about it (you probably can’t stop yourself from talking about it anyway) and people will pay you.
In the link to the Jeff Gordon commercial above, Whitney is the one rigging the taxi with mini hidden cameras and installing the Plexiglas divider to turn this Chevy Caprice into a taxi. He’s in there around the 30-second mark. For a second. Don’t blink.
What does my husband do for a living?
Play.
(BTW – This prank is really real. How rare when you get to know for sure. And Jeff Gordon had an absolute blast.)
A common question I get is “How do you do it all?”
The answer is simple.
Pick the right “All” for yourself.
You can’t do it all if your “All” includes competing in the Olympics, giving birth and being the Queen of England.
All at the same time.
The right “All” for you will feel like you are skiing downhill (if you like skiing) and you are flying through the gates like a pro. You are going fast and you are at the top of your game. You are balanced and confident. Your eyes are softly focused, taking in all of your surroundings as you shift your weight expertly to slice through the snow like a dancer.
You do not have to think hard about each move; you are using your muscle memory. You are in the moment. Your knowledge and assurance comes from your gut rather than your decision-making mind.
That is the feeling state you want for your “All”… the incredible feeling of an awesome downhill run.
Now make a list of other feelings you want in your life.
It might be things like joy, connection, and calm.
If you don’t spend much time figuring out what makes you feel good, coming up with a list of feelings you want in your life can be difficult. One way to jump-start the process is to think back to what has made you feel good in the past.
Maybe it’s the touch of a child’s hand. Maybe it’s winning a race. Perhaps it’s singing Carolina In My Mind at the top of your lungs.
Still a challenge? Try thinking back to before you were in kindergarten, and what things made you feel good. Climbing a tree? Learning to ride a bike? Lying on a hill and looking at the sky?
The object of the game is to fill your life with the things that give you those feelings, and let the rest of the things on your to-do list fall by the wayside.
By the way, no judging.
Don’t worry if you think you should make dinner from scratch for your family every night. If the act of cooking the dinner does not feel good, it’s off the list. No judging yourself.
And the no judging thing works better if you aren’t worried about other people judging you. Adopt the phrase, “I love you, and I respectfully don’t care what you think.”
I think you will be surprised by how many things on your old list of doing it “All” is because you think you should, or you are afraid other people will judge you.
Here is the bottom line.
Chances are you will feel so intoxicated by a life filled with feelings you relish, choosing to do your taxes (or doing other things you would rather not) will barely cause a dip in your “skier’s high” feeling.
Your life list has to be for you, made by you.
Your design.
Your feelings.
Your joy.
And that’s what I want for your life.
I want you to fall in love with your life.
With everything you are doing right now.
Everything you are feeling right now.
Choose an “All” you fall in love with. And all will be well.